December 2009
8 and a half months,
Gone down the drain.
Where do I go from here?
Heroin, be the death of me. Arnold, be the birth...
It never ceases to amaze me how thin a line I walk on.
Filled with mood stabilizers, anti-depressants, nicotine, and lust..
All this has corrupted my pure soul.
Forced in combust.
Yesterday I was reminded how fragile my state of sobriety is.
Dad, oh dad,
Why must you toy with me?
Darling, my love,
Why weren’t you there for me?
In moments like those I am left all alone,
With nothing but...
its just this thing i do and i can't stop it
anger gets the best of me
i have to be 110% in control
i am 99.9% in control
yet i am not satisfied
you must be my puppet
i want to stop smoking cigarettes
you make me so mad sometimes wish i could hate you
but what makes me even madder
is that i’ll wake up and be a completely different person
i hate this shortfuse i have
it makes me want to kill you sometimes
kill them all
...
I want to learn how to play piano,
so I can let out my sweet sorrows in song.
As much as I love HK, →
LMFAO!
Radiance
I just feel so beautiful when I am with my family.
When surrounded by the people who love me,
no harm can come.
I’m so happy this time around and I owe that all to my loved ones.
I look forward to seeing my love come home soon so I can embrace him and remind him of how much he means to me.
Love is a beautiful thing and should always be cherished!
Goodnight.
<3.
Should I welcome you in so soon? I know I deserve it. And soon really isn’t that soon. It’s a decade in seconds and that’s all we go on. It’s the electricity that runs through our backbone. It’s the uncertainty, yet the comfort. It’s your gaze. It keeps me lifted.
Unfair, of course.
I can be happy on my own. I’m perfectly capable of that.
But after these...
I seriously can’t handle these mood swings.. My anger’s coming back to dominate me, fast.